What women might want to hear

A list of do's and don'ts for the single fella

It's been a while since I've been single.
Mechanics need work. My moves, eh, a bit rusty. And the pick up lines I'm so accustomed to just aren't picking up anymore.
After recently exiting a four-year relationship, who can blame me?
So fellas, I - by means of trial and a whole lot of error - have created for you -with the help of women who know what they want - a short guide to help you get your mack on. Well, hopefully...

Warning: Every woman is different. Some may absorb while others may frown on the ideas expressed in this column. I will not be held responsible for drinks thrown in the face. Now to my first point.

THE COMPLIMENT

How else did you think you were gonna get in? Your dashing good looks? Your debonair smile? Please... Women love when you notice the little things. Their hair. Their outfit. Their perfume.
Chances are she spent hours getting ready. Those jeans? She probably squeezed into a dozen pairs before she found the ones that hug her hips just right. Case and point: She's dressing up so YOU notice. So let her know.
"We try really, really hard for specific things to be noticed," said a girlfriend of mine. I'll call her Lt. Ginge - your dating authority. "Men don't compliment women enough anymore."
Try throwing her a compliment specific to her natural beauty or one that's exchangeable like clothing.

Natural beauty
Tits and ass are an overly abused target. Try these other points of entry:
-Her slender back
-Feminine hands
-Tiny Waist
-Eye color
-Freckles
-Eyelashes

Exchangable
-Earrings
-Eye shadow
-Necklace
-Dress, color
-Tattoos
-Jeans

"Little things add up to become big things," said Miki Kaneko, a longtime bartender friend. "I like it when guys notice my eye shadow colors. It means they're paying attention and actually looking at my eyes. But don't be too creepy about it."
Ladies do, however, hate it when guys are vague.
Telling them that you "think they're really sexy," or they're "the most beautiful woman you've ever seen," will get you tossed out like yesterday's newspaper. Don't put 'em on a pedestal.
Be specific. Be particular. Be original. Let them know exactly why they're sexy and why they look good.

THE DIG ON DIALOGUE

After catching her attention with a compliment, now it's crunch time! With a small window of opportunity to serve her some game, make the most of it by following these tips.
Anything that has to do with school - don't mention. Nothing keeps the ice more frozen than asking a girl what she's studying.
Offer her something different. Ask her what she does, where she's from or maybe what's the occasion tonight.
And by any means, don't go digging into every detail of your life. It's exhausting. Women want a taste of what you're about, not a four-course meal.
Let her do most of the talking. You ask the questions and add to the conversation. So take interest in what she's talking about, or at least act like it. Hee Hee.
"Let her get comfortable," Lt. Ginge said. "Her getting comfortable and you getting a kiss go hand-in-hand."
Also, remember the damn girl's name! Calling a woman by the wrong name could mean GAME OVER.

FEEL HER OUT

I said out, not up. A subtle touch will help you figure out whether she's romantically inclined, or she's just another pretty face to say hi to. The first touch is like testing a jab to see what your next punch will be.
Start out with a light finger between her shoulder or a hand on the small of her back or at her hip.
"The first touch is important," Kaneko said. "If she's interested in you, she'll hang around. If not, she's gonna shake your hand and get the fuck out."
Try this move: When you want to tell her something, lower your voice, lean in (eye contact should be elsewhere) and ask the question to her neck. This move works well especially in places where it's noisy.
Touch as subtle as your breath, Ginge said, "is one of the sexiest things a guy can do."
*Tooth brushing required.

THE MATH

Fellas, meet the cocktail napkin and the barmaid's pen. Then let her know you want to see her again.
"It's sexy," Lt. Ginge said. "If she really likes you, that number is going on the bathroom window."
Be old school. Otherwise, you'll probably end up lost in the sea of contacts she calls her phone. No napkins? Well MacGyver, match books or the back of a receipt work too.
Either way, giving her your number gives her the option to choose, and doesn't make you look desperate. A Win-Win.

THOSE THAT LEAVE EMPTY HANDED

If it's not your night, it's not your night. Don't force it. Trying too hard often leads to more lameness on your behalf. Breathe.
"Half the women don't know what they want," said Brittany Wilson, a frequent at Santa Barbara's Wildcat club.
Maybe she doesn't like what you have to offer. Maybe you're just friend material. Or maybe 'she's just not that into you!'

What turns you on?